I knew I loved my job, and that I would have a hard time leaving it to go on maternity leave. I was only off for a month before I started working from home again. I just couldn't give it up.
I thought that I would be upset that my maternity leave is almost up. I'm going to miss the 'free' money (!), but I don't think I'm upset it's up. I think I'm actually looking forward to going to work. The closer I get to going back, the more excited I get.
I don't know if it's the season/weather, but I'm getting tired of being stuck in the house. We can't go anywhere because we don't have a vehicle when Jon's working...but even if we did, where would we go? The weather is horrible, and the amount of work it takes to get out makes it not worth it. I find myself falling into an unhappiness of being home 24-7. Please don't get me wrong though, I love my kids...but I also love my job...using my brain, crunching numbers, problem-solving, being a leader, etc.
Problem is though, I don't want to (can't!) do both 100% of the time...so I have to find a balance. I need to work enough so that it fills that desire to be "Corporate Laura", but I can only work certain times/days depending on vehicles/babysitting. I want to be home enough so that it fills my desire of being "Mommy Laura"...but without losing any of "Corporate Laura". I don't think I can be a good "Mommy Laura" without a little bit of "Corporate Laura" in my life. What's a good balance, so that I can do both without letting one suffer? Every day different scenarios run through my mind...what if I work this day, this day, and this day, how will I get there, who will watch the kids? etc etc etc. Is it worth insuring a second vehicle (the golf) just so that I have a little more flexibility with what I do and when? Is it worth paying someone to watch Matthew and Kayla for a little more flexibility?
Praying for some sunny weather so that we can get out and play outside! Come Spring, come!!!
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