Kayla's Thoughts on Boys and Her Future Husband

Last week we were discussing weddings and Kayla stated that she was going to marry Matthew.  I had to crush her dreams, and told her that she could not marry her brother.

So, a couple days ago while we were driving home in the afternoon, we had this conversation:

Kayla:  When I'm going to get married, I'm going to be walking with Matthew and there is going to be another boy and girl walking together and the boy is going to be just like Matthew and I am going to marry him.

Me:  Why do you want him to be like Matthew?

Kayla:  Because I don't like boys.  I only like Matthew.

Me:  Don't you like Daddy?  Daddy's a boy.

Kayla:  Yes, I like Daddy.

Me:  Don't you like Uncle Luke?  Uncle Luke's a boy.

Kayla:  Yes, I like boys with one or two babies.

Me:  Don't you like Grandpa?  Grandpa's a boy.

Kayla:  Yes, I like Grandpa because Grandpa does fun things with me.  When we are over at Grandma and Grandpa's you just watch us and if we aren't doing anything fun then all of a sudden we will be doing something fun.

Doctor's Appointment #1

I had my first appointment with Dr. Smith and Surrey Prenatal Clinic (SPC) today.  She wasn't my doctor during my pregnancy with Nathan, but she ended up delivering him and I loved her so I requested her this time.  It was nice going back to SPC...it was almost surreal that I was/am having that opportunity again.

Other than being almost two hours behind schedule (luckily I had called ahead and so I knew to show up an hour late), my appointment was pretty standard.  We went over the ultrasound results from the ultrasound I had on January 9.  I regret having that ultrasound!  Because I had one, they have to use the estimated due date based on what the baby was measuring that day.  Unfortunately, I'm measuring five days behind and so my due date has been pushed to August 2.  I presumed this would happen due to my longer cycles and thus later conception date, so I wasn't concerned for the growth of the baby but selfishly because that means the earliest I would get induced is August 12.  I'm assuming since I've had to be induced with my two other (successful) pregnancies that I'll probably have to get induced with this one too (boo!).  The funny thing is that we have our annual Penticton camping trip scheduled for August 15 to 22.  At least I will have a lot of helping hands.  Or, best case scenario, I go into labour naturally before then!  I guess it's up to God!

One nice change at SPC since I was last there is that they now have a handheld ultrasound machine.  It's the greatest thing ever!  I don't think it would work well if you're late into your pregnancy, but if you're just pregnant like me, it's great!  After hearing the heartbeat through the doppler, she did a quick little ultrasound to show me Baby Struik.  So wonderful.  I told her if I had one at home I think I would use it every day :)

So far, so good with Baby Struik!  I don't feel pregnant at all (other then some weight gain) and am still fitting into my non-maternity clothes just fine (which is strange for me, since with the others I was already into maternity pants).  Maybe I won't gain 45+ pounds this time?!?!?!

P.S.  Although my dates have changed for hospital-purposes, for the purpose of the blog and my weekly photos I'm going to continue to go by the first day of my last period.  It would be too confusing (for me, at least!) to have duplicate-week blog entries/photos.

15 Months Old

Nathan, you have grown up so much this past month.  You have really started to follow directions such as, "Put this in the garbage," or "Go grab a book," or "Sit Down."  You know that things around the house have their place, and you like to ensure that they are always put in the right spot.  Your favourite thing to do is put the remote control on the shelf by "my couch" and Grandma's remote control on the shelf "by the polar bear."

You have also started really trying to communicate what you want by grunting and pointing.  The only time you start to get really grumpy is between 6pm-7pm, which means you are ready for night-time bottle.  As soon as you've finished drinking your bottle, you're fine again.

You have learned how to step down the two stairs between my parents' kitchen and family room without holding on to anything, and you have learned how to run.  You love running around the kitchen island or up and down the upstairs hallway with Matthew and Kayla.  You LOVE playing with them.  Most of the time, the three of you get along great.  When you feel left out, you start to hit them on the head.  If they are lying on the ground, you take that as an invitation to start to wrestle them.  You love it when they bounce you up and down while they are lying down.

A couple weeks ago you went through a really rough patch with sleeping.  You were waking up once or twice every night, calling, "Mom!  Mom!  Mom!"  Each time I would get out of bed, walk down the hall to your room, made sure you had your soother and were covered with blankets, and went back to bed.  I thought there was no end in sight...however, I noticed last week that your first two molars (on the top) had erupted and all of a sudden, there was no more mid-night wakings.  Thank goodness.  I'm too old to wake up in the middle of the night (haha).

(Sitting on the furnace vent, like Matthew and Kayla always do)

You're quickly outgrowing your 12-18 month clothes and we have really started putting you in 18-24 month clothes.

 You absolutely ADORE Lacey, my parents' dog.  Adore might even be an understatement.  When I take you out of the car when we get to my parents' you race to the gate yelling, "Yace!  Yace!  Yace!"  (The first non-Mommy/Daddy name you know how to say!)  I have to peel you away from the gate to bring you inside.  When we are outside, you try to play with her by throwing her toys for her, but she just ignores you.  You love Auntie Candice's phone because you know her wallpaper is a picture of Lacey.

I often come downstairs in the morning to find you sitting on your Dad's lap, stealing bites of his cereal.  You are a big mooch for food.  When you are wanting a candy, you stand by the counter pointing to the bowl of Halloween candy (can you believe Jon and I haven't eaten all of it yet?  True sign that I crave salty foods when pregnant and not sweet).  You typically are fantastic at mealtime, so long as you can be feeding yourself.  We had a little 'issue' last week when you did not want me to feed you your macaroni and prem.  After throwing food and your fork on the ground twice, I was not going to let you carry on feeding yourself and decided to take over.  You were UPSET!  Because you were so irate, I put you in our crib and explained that when you could eat nicely (from me), you would be allowed out, and left the room.  After a minute I went upstairs and asked you if you were ready to eat nice, to which you nodded yes.  I brought you downstairs but you lost it when I tried to feed you....so back upstairs you went, and I left.  After a minute I asked you if you were ready, and you nodded yes.  I brought you downstairs and sure enough, you finished the rest of your meal being fed by me, eating nicely.  I won that one, buddy :)  Other than that incident, you finish all of your food really quickly and neatly.

Size Difference

Matthew - November 2013 - 32 Months

Nathan - January 2015 - 15 Months

This past Sunday Nathan wore the outfit that Matthew wore at Nathan's baptism...17 months younger.  If this keeps up, eventually they will be wearing the same size I guess.  The same-gender twins I never had!  And actually, they are the same 'age' in a sense...they were conceived at the same time, we just had Nathan frozen for 2.5 years.  So strange.

2 + 4 = 6

I have been keeping a huge secret for the last five weeks: I'm pregnant!  Can you believe it?  I still can't.  I'm due July 28, so I'm only 12 weeks along, but I just had an ultrasound on Friday and the technician said everything was looking good so I'm not going to keep it a secret any longer.  Worst case, if something were to go wrong, at least I would have a larger community to pray for me.

I like to joke that these are big 'F's in their conception method.  Matthew and Kayla were fresh embryos, Nathan was a frozen embryo, and Baby Struik is a freebie.  That's right.  Baby Struik didn't cost us a penny to conceive...s/he is 'au naturel'. :)

{And in case you're wondering...I've been typing blog entries all along, I just hadn't published them for everyone to read.  If you are interested in reading all of my un-published posts...here they are!  Personally, I love having my pregnancy entries - I refer to them each pregnancy WAY more often than any pregnancy guide book, as all of my pregnancies have been very similar symptom-wise, and so it's nice to look back to see what was going on at each stage in my previous pregnancies.}

Thursday, December 11
I can't believe I just took a home pregnancy test...and it says I'm pregnant.  It's hard to believe, or maybe I'm just not letting myself believe it.  Not for a long time.

I never have predictable cycles.  I always write on my calendar when I'm 28 days...but I never truly expect my period until I hit the 32-35 day mark.  Last cycle was a 44 day cycle.  I was at the doctor's office with Nathan to get his one-year immunizations and I also was going to have a pregnancy test done.  Day 44.  I go to pee in the cup in the washroom, and I noticed I got my period.  What are the chances?  Just when I was starting to believe that maybe I was pregnant, I got my period.  

This month, when day 42 comes and goes, day 44 comes and goes, day 46 comes and goes...I start to get more hopeful.  I took the mindset again that I won't test until I'm at day 50, so I wasn't letting my hopes get up.  Day 49 passed, day 50 passed, and then today was day 51.  Jon was getting frustrated.  I didn't know whether to believe my body's "symptoms" or to deny the fact that I could be pregnant.  It's a huge leap of faith taking a pregnancy test...for me, it's acknowledging the fact that there is a chance that I could be pregnant.

Anyways, I was out at Wal-Mart tonight trying to help my Mom finish her Christmas shopping, and decided that I needed to just take a leap of faith and buy a test.  I didn't make any promises to anyone as to when I would test...but when I got home and had a full bladder I just couldn't resist.  Jon was distracted watching television so I didn't even tell him what I was doing when I went upstairs.  He's still watching tv as I type this and I still haven't told him I took it, let alone what the results are.  It's just lying on the bathroom counter for him to see right now.  I'm always so weird with announcements about my own life like that...I don't like the attention that gets focused on me.

I'm in a bit of a pickle right now.  I'd love to tell the world that we actually managed to get pregnant on our own, and actually quite quickly considering the fact that we were trying, but at the same time not trying...the only dilemma is that I just started a new job this week for my brother-in-law, and if we tell our families it would be telling my boss at the same time.  I feel bad.  Yes, he did mention to me that he didn't care if I got pregnant (that was one of my initial reasons for not applying for the job, I didn't want to leave a family member stranded in having to train a new employee again), but still, it sucks.  I'm not sure what to do yet.  I also don't want to get too hopeful...I'm only 7 weeks + 2 days so I have a long ways to go before I can be a little less nervous.  

Can you believe it?  I could have another baby?  Could this actually be happening?!?!?  I had started to allow myself to be content with just three kids...because that could very well be what God had wanted.  Maybe my dream of four kids is God's plan for me....*fingers crossed*.

Friday, December 11
I told Matthew and Kayla this morning that I had a baby in my tummy, "just like Auntie Laura."  They didn't really care (which I expected).  I wasn't concerned about them telling anybody because we were going to tell our families right away anyways.  An hour after I told them, my Mom requested that we wait until we did gift-opening to reveal to my siblings that I was pregnant.  Matthew and Kayla didn't say anything all day about the baby, so I assumed that it had just gone over their heads.  I was wrong.  That evening, my sister Melissa was babysitting Matthew, Kayla, and Nathan while Jon and I were at a friend's Christmas party.  They were playing with a doll, and Kayla stated, that "My Mommy has a baby in her tummy and it is a girl baby."  Melissa didn't believe her at all, but did think that it was odd that Kayla was so adamant about it.

Wednesday, December 24 - 9 Weeks (+ 1 Day)
It's almost been two weeks since I tested, and it has surprisingly gone quite fast.  Two down, four more to go until the excitement can start.  Between weeks 7 and 8 I was quite tired at night, but I was still fighting/getting over a cold so that could have been a lingering symptom from that.  I had no symptoms during the day of being pregnant, but as soon as I sat down on the couch once the kids were in bed each evening then I would start to 'feel' my uterus and get light contractions.  All a good thing.  Once I hit 8.5 weeks then those nightly contractions have subsided and now I only get the occasional cramp during the day.  If it weren't for those, I would question whether or not I was actually pregnant!  I had my blood work completed for Dr. Shah on Thursday, December 18 and have booked an ultrasound appointment for the earliest they could fit me in:  January 9.  That ultrasound will be huge because  it will be a good indication of how this pregnancy is going.  A heartbeat means good.  Please, please, let there be a heartbeat.

Saturday, January 3
Kayla:  "Mom, does it hurt when Jesus takes the baby out of your tummy?"
Laura:  "Yes, a little."
Kayla:  "How does he take it out?"
Laura:  "He has a special way."
Kayla:  "Can I watch?"
Laura:  "No, you will be at Grandma's house and Mommy will be at the hospital."
Kayla:  "Will you tell us when the baby is born?"
Laura:  "You bet!  Daddy will call Grandma and you can come right away."

Wednesday, January 6 - 11 Weeks (+ 1 Day)
The past two weeks have been rather uneventful - which is a good thing.  The only symptom I had up until a few days ago was feeling 'off' at night.  It was an unsure mixture of feeling hungry and queasy at the same time.  Nothing that any one else would notice, I don't think, but enough that I would.  It's bitter-sweet that the feeling has subsided because now I'm left almost symptom-less.  I get the occasional cramp, to which I shout "yes!" in my head.  This is a pretty pivotal week for me, as this is the week in which I miscarried my other natural pregnancy.  If I can get to 11 weeks + 4 days I will breathe a sigh of relief.  I have my first ultrasound on Friday which is exciting, but nerve wracking at the same time.  I still haven't been able to allow myself to get excited about or think too far in the future about this pregnancy because I'm not convinced that God would allow this to be this normal.  Every other pregnancy has been unique in its own sense, which has all worked out wonderfully and when you look back, makes perfect sense why God made it that way...so I'm not convinced that this one would be okay being normal.  I think I'm doing a decent job at just trusting God's will for this pregnancy, knowing that he knows best.  He's proven himself with the last three pregnancies, so this shouldn't be any different.  Right?

Friday, January 8 - Ultrasound #1
I was so nervous for this ultrasound.  This was the ultrasound I never made with my miscarriage - I had to call and cancel it.  My heart was just pounding as I laid on the bed, waiting for the ultrasound technician to find the baby and start measuring.  She asked me a few questions, such as, "So you've had a miscarriage before?" (it stated that on my requisition for) and, "If this is your fourth pregnancy then you have two kids at home already?" and "Are you having an early ultrasound because you have irregular cycles?"  I explained that yes, my cycles are super-predictable, but the reason for the ultrasound was to give me peace-of-mind.  She right away quelled all fears and told me that Baby Struik was waving away like crazy to her.  I could have cried in joy.  Baby Struik was saying, "Hi, Mommy.  Don't worry anymore.  I'm okay."  So comforting.  I was so much more relaxed for the rest of the appointment.  She said that Baby Struik looks good.  S/he has two arms and two legs, has a heart rate in the 130s, and is super active.  When she showed me, it was true.  Baby Struik was kicking and waving like crazy.  S/he even was trying to flip over, which was causing his/her heart rate to jump to the 160s.  

Sibling Love

For the month of January, I am the Preschool/Kindergarten Children's Church teacher at church.  Matthew and Kayla are in my class, so half of the class just calls me "Mom".  It's quite cute.

During one of our large-group activities with all of the other children in the older classes, the kids had to 'go fishing'.  They would take their fishing rod, throw the string with a binder clip tied to the end over the edge of the table, and they they would reel in a slip of paper that had that name of a person on it.  Matthew and Kayla were the first to go.  Matthew brought his slip to me first, and it said, "Princess."  Kayla brought hers to me next, and it said, "Santa Claus."  Kids kept reeling in their slips of paper:  Grandma, Pastor, Policeman, Teacher, President, etc.  Meanwhile, I could see the tears forming in Kayla's eyes, and despite all attempts at holding them in, she burst out crying.  I figured I knew what the issue was, but I wanted her to tell me in case I was wrong.  "Mom, I like Princesses!" she cried (I was right!).  Matthew saw and heard everything she said, and I was so proud when he told Kayla that he would switch papers with her.  So cute.  I love that they have each other...such a great relationship they have.

(Matthew loves bridges (and Thomas and Lighting "TheQueen").  I drove under the Tynehead Pedestrian overpass with him on our way to his eye doctor appointment with Dr. Cline last week, and promised him that over the weekend (if it was dry) we would visit Tynehead Park so that he could go on the bridge).  Jon and I tried to get some pictures of the kids...but honestly, it was a little disappointing.  Who am I kidding?  What are the chances of getting them ALL smiling at the same time (or Kayla smiling at all?!?!?))

(Totally not-posed.  I was waiting for Matthew and Kayla to run back to the middle of the bridge and was just having a little conversation with Nathan.  I love it.)

(Discussing where they had to stand)

(Matthew being super uncooperative pretending he had no idea where I had told him to go.  I look like I have my hands full (in a literal and non-literal sense).  I guess I do (in both senses).

(1 out of 3 smiling.  I'll take it.)

(Mr. Independent did not not want to be carried walking down the ramp from the overpass.  I was just worried that he would trip over his toes, like he always does.  He didn't.)