Days 1-19

You know life is busier and the process is less intense when I end up blogging the first 18 days of my cycle all in one entry!  Sorry potential baby #3...it's not that you're less important...it's well, it's just...well, there's no excuse.  So here we go, days 1-18:

Days 1-7 (Oct 26-Nov 1):  2mg Estrace twice a day.  No big deal.  My boss asked me if I felt more hormonal (to which I replied sarcastically, "Do I seem more hormonal?"  We have a great working relationship).  Anyways, no I didn't feel more hormonal at all.

Days 8-18 (Nov 2-12):  2mg Estrace three times a day.  Again, no big deal...It's just a little more difficult to remember to take my pills.  I might have had a couple days where had only taken two, and so the next day I would take four.

Day 19 (Nov 13):  Ultrasound at Genesis!  After fighting morning rush-hour traffic to get to my 8:30am appointment in Vancouver on time, I had to sit in the waiting room for what felt like FOREVER, because they were busy and thus behind schedule.  45 minutes later, I had the ultrasound.  The doctor said my uterine lining is looking great, so we're good to go for a transfer next week.  He said I hadn't ovulated yet (as I had suspected).  Hmm...that means we still have a chance to get pregnant naturally as well.  Not that it would happen...but wouldn't it be crazy if we were pregnant when they (hopefully) transfer one of our embryos in?  It would be like twins...but one is 1.5 years older.  Anyways, won't happen.  I don't think.

I met with the nurse after the ultrasound to discuss the transfer dates.  On Sunday, November 18, I reduce my Estrace to 2mg twice a day, and then I also start Endometrin three times a day.  On Monday, November 19, a nurse will call me to schedule my transfer appointment for the next day (usually around 11am-ish).  In the morning of Tuesday, November 20, the first thing they'll do when they get to the office is take my day 3 embryo out of the freezer (i.e. out of the liquid nitrogen) and will see if it survives being thawed.  If it does, then we go ahead with the transfer and the day 5 will stay frozen.  If it doesn't then they call me to cancel my appointment and then on Thursday, November 22, they take the day 5 out of the freezer and see if it survives being thawed.  If it does, then we go ahead with the transfer.  If it doesn't, then we're out of luck.

How am I doing?  I'm scared.  I'm really scared.  Not scared of the procedures at all, because I've been through it all before, but scared of a negative outcome.  I just want one of the embryos to thaw and to implant.  Hopefully that's not asking too much.  I try not to think about it at all, and try to focus all of my time/attention/energy into Matthew and Kayla, and work (which I'm completely swamped in right now, and have no idea how I'm going to stay on top of it if the transfer happens next week and I can't work from the office).