21 Months

Matthew:
- Clothing Size:  18 months, but is definitely growing out of them
- Pampers Size:  3
- Teeth:  16
- New word(s): "ba" for ball
- Savours his advent calendar chocolate every morning...he takes little nibbles at it
- All of a sudden figured out how to match up the colours/shapes in the shape sorter ball without assistance
- Has a HUGE obsession with the telephone.  When it rings, he runs and points to it.  When you're on it, he watches you.  When you're done, you HAVE to hang it up again or he endlessly points to the base saying "egh, egh, egh"

Kayla:
- Clothing Size:  2T (but still can wear 18 & 24 month clothes)
- Pampers Size:  3
- Teeth:  12
- New word(s): "Boo" for Blue
- Eats her advent calendar chocolate in one bite.
- All of a sudden figured out how to match up the colours/shapes in the shape sorter ball without assistance
- LOVES sorting mega/wood blocks by colour.  She'll select a colour and then will build a tower with just that colour
- LOVES wrestling/being tossed around by Jon.  I know she definitely missed it while we were in Ontario because she kept trying to wrestle with me, but I'm just not as strong so it wasn't near as fun for her.  That's her and Jon's "thing".
- Loves wearing my shoes.  She's discovered that I have a shoe rack in my bedroom closet and will pull out a few pairs of shoes and will walk around in them.
- Plugged my parents' toilet 3 times in a matter of a couple weeks due to the size of her poos.  Speaking of which, we went to a pediatrician (Dr. Ng) who has recommended that we switch to a different laxative and really focus on her diet.  The doctor did seem more concerned over Kayla's speech (or lack thereof during the appointment) than the constipation.  For the record, I'm not concerned about her 'slowness' at all.  Myself and all of my siblings were 'slow', and Kayla definitely demonstrates that she understands us so I'm sure she's just like me.
- Loves wearing Candice's old doll carrier "snugly".  She cuddles the baby against her as if it were a real baby.
- Says "Byyyyyye" if Matthew is in 'her space' when she doesn't want him there.  This is also usually accompanied with trying to pry his fingers off whatever he's touching of hers and/or pushing him away.  Matthew gets so upset.

Our typical daily schedule:
8:00am Wake-up and have breakfast (cold cereal)
8:30am Bath-time
10:00am Snack time
12:00pm Lunch time (at the picnic table (inside for the winter)).  They just chose to sit there one day so that's what we always do now.
1:00/1:30pm Nap time (usually about 1.25-1.5 hours)
3:00pm Wake-up and have snack
5:00pm Dinner time
6:30pm Head to my parents
7:45pm Back home for a bottle (7oz), brush teeth, and book.
8:00pm Bed time

Ontario

My mom and I had been hoping to go to Ontario to visit my brother and his family in March, before Matthew and Kayla turn two (because they fly for free until they're two), but then between Christmas and my brother coming out this way to visit it just didn't seem do-able.

Three weeks ago my mom came up with this crazy idea to go and visit David and Laura and the girls herself, on a spur-of-the-moment-let's-not-tell-Laura-and-only-tell-David-so-it-will-surprise-Laura kind of trip.  The day we found out that the frozen embryo transfer didn't work, my mom asked if I (and the kids) wanted to join her.  YES!  We quickly booked a ticket for me...and the excitement of it all began.  It was so nice to have something to look forward to after receiving the negative news.  I joked to my mom that I should blog that I was going, to which she agreed...and then we laughed because she had totally forgotten that Laura is one of my religious blog-followers, and if I blogged about it the surprise would have been ruined.  I was so nervous about spoiling the surprise that I started avoiding her on facebook chat.  :)

We spent the next six days planning for stressing about the flight.  How do you keep two children content on your lap in a squishy plane for 4.5 hours straight?  Well, God was definitely on our side.  The ONLY empty seat in the plane happened to be between us, so Matthew and Kayla enjoyed a nice nap with their heads resting on our lap.  For the rest of the time, Matthew had fun giggling during the turbulence, Kayla had fun looking out the window, and then they played with little toy animals my Mom had bought as a last-minute purchase.

Our visit in Ontario was wonderful.  It was so nice to see the girls again, and it didn't take them long to warm up to me.  The four kids had a lot of fun together.  We mostly just stuck around the house, playing toys, eating food, and talking.  It was great.  It was nice to see their life out there as I pretty sure I won't be going back any time soon (for financial reasons...flying is expensive!).  It was Remy and Carly's first birthday so it was fun celebrating that with them.  By the end of our trip, you could tell that Matthew and Kayla and Remy and Carly were getting much more comfortable with each other because they started to become possessive over toys and tease each other.  Matthew started getting a cold out there, so he spent all but one evening sleeping in my mom's and my bed, just so that he wouldn't wake up the house during the night with his crying over being stuffed up.  One morning, we woke up and I had 2/3 of the bed and my mom and Matthew were sharing the remaining 1/3 because Matthew wanted to lay right by her.  Another night, he kept wanting to hold her hand, even when he was sleeping.  Too cute.

The flight home was good.  The plane was packed, so I ended up in a middle seat.  We took a red-eye flight, and luckily Matthew and Kayla did sleep for most of it.  I only slept for about 10 minutes of it, and then since we've been home I've been crazy busy.  I think I had 16 hours of sleep in all over the first three nights being back because I had to work morning shifts two of the days.  Oh well, busy is good.

I can't believe it's only been 2.5 weeks since we found out the transfer didn't work.  It feels like forever ago.  I'm really glad that I was forced to take a month off before the next transfer (due to office closures)...I think I would have been ready to jump right into it emotionally, or physically.  I was expected to have a super heavy period...but it ended up being lighter than normal so I'm glad my body will have one more period before we start medications again.

Anyways, my family is opening gifts tonight...I can't believe it's Christmas-time already.  Maybe because so much other stuff has been going on so I've been really busy.  Anyways, I'm looking forward to Matthew and Kayla opening gifts :)  I think that's the part I'm most looking forward to.  That, and the food.  I LOVE Christmas appetizers and desserts.  YUM.

Frozen Embryo Transfer #1 = Fail

So I saw the results on myehealth at 2:10pm...and my beta is 4...which means I am 100% not pregnant.  It sucks, but oh well...the chances weren't very high of it working anyways.  BOOO.  The nurse from Genesis called at 3pm to be the "bearer of bad news".  She was very good at it, but I already knew so she didn't have to be as sympathetic.

So where do we go from here?  I stop all my current medications ASAP.  She told me to expect my period in the next couple days and that it will be heavier than usual (which I'm assuming is because my lining is thicker than a non-medicated cycle).  Typically, I could start my next frozen embryo transfer as soon as I get my period, but, because of their two-week Christmas closure, I have to wait until my next cycle, so in January some time.  Day 5 embryo, we're coming for you!  You BETTER survive the thaw!

1 More Day

In seven hours my bloodwork will be complete, and I'll be waiting for either myehealth to be updated with the test results, or a phone call from Genesis, whichever happens first.  I'm not really even nervous right now...not like I was with Matthew and Kayla.  Maybe because I would rather not know the results?  It's nice being in a "maybe I am" state of mind...because at least there's hope there.  If you get a negative then that hope is gone, at least for now.

Anyways, I should be tired and sleeping, but I'm like my kids who were bouncing in their beds for over an hour before I took them out to watch 15 minutes of Barney and then put them back to bed with 3 oz of milk in a bottle.  It worked...but definitely something I don't want to become a habit.  As I was saying, I just don't feel like sleeping right now.

Jon told me not to call him with the results, because he wants to be able to get as much done as possible at school  before coming home, and doesn't want any positive or negative distraction.  Fair enough.

Wish us luck for tomorrow...hoping for a lot (or a little, I'll take anything!) of HcG to be in my blood :)

12 Down...

...2 to go!

Matthew is sleeping on me on the couch as I type this (yes, I know at 4:19pm...guess the 45 minute nap I allowed him at my parents starting at 3pm was not quite enough for the day.  Hopefully he's not up too late tonight because I have between 2 to 4 hours of BackCheck work that I have to do, starting at 8pm).  Anyways, as he's sleeping on me I can't help but wonder, "Big kid on me, little kid in me?"

20 Months Old!

Kayla:
-  Weighs 24 lbs
-  New Words:  Bwoo (Balloon)
-  Went through a phase where she liked to 'touch tongues'
-  If you pretend to be sleeping she'll hit you on the chest to wake up.
- When Matthew initiates having all the lights turned on, she follows suit and says "dis" at each lamp.
-  Loves helping me empty the dishwasher.  She even tries to do the top shelf items by standing on the door when I'm not looking.  She also loves getting to add the soap.
-  Always sleeps laying parallel to the short end of the bed, tucked into the corners (does that make sense).  The taller she gets, the more bent her knees have to be to fit.
-  Sleeps with a million stuffed animals in her bed.  I just counted and she's sleeping with seventeen right now, as well as two blankets.  Before I go to bed I move all of them to the opposite corner she's sleeping in.
-  LOVES playing with Barbies and vintage Polly Pockets.  She absolutely loves it.  I was never interested in them as a kid, but my Mom has kept all of Melissa's and Candice's so that is what she plays with.
-  Is really starting to understand the concept of cleaning up toys.  Sometimes when she sees me clean up she'll help me without even me asking her too.  She knows exactly where everything belongs.
-  Still would prefer to be barefoot than to have socks on.
-  Still LOVES fruit.  Any kind!  Between the two of them, they eat at least two mandarin oranges and a cup of frozen blueberries a day, in addition to whatever other fruit I have.
-  Started choking really bad on a half slice of orange on November 7th.  I, who am usually the calm one in these panicky situations, quickly yelled for Jon to come and help me thump her on the back while was laying across my lap.  Jon then stuck his finger in the back of her throat to make her gag-reflex go...and out came the orange.  Now I really concentrate on telling them to slow down when they're eating and to chew their food.
-  Has made GREAT progress in the eating department!  Shortly after her 19 month post I realized that nothing could convince Kayla to eat if she didn't want to.  We would even tease her by feeding Matthew candies and snacks with the promise that she could have some as soon as she ate her dinner and she acted as if she could have cared less.  So we stopped making her sit by the table and forcing her to eat.  If she didn't want to eat her dinner, we let her go play with Matthew, but told her that she would not get any snacks for the rest of the evening.  About a week into it, I'm sure she was hungry when she went to bed because I could hear her whining in her sleep.  The next day, I also made another minor adjustment to our feeding routine.  Usually I would give them their sippy cup of milk while I cut up their dinner, so that they could at least drink while they waited...and Kayla would always drink so well (about 3-4 oz or so).  Thinking that maybe she was drinking to the point that she wasn't hungry anymore, I stopped giving them their milk at the beginning of their meal.  Since then, she has been AMAZING.  She eats very well now, and we never (knock on wood) have to fight with her to eat.  Once she's halfway done eating then she gets her milk to drink as she eats.  Such a huge stress-reliever!
-  Likes to wash her own body at some point during bath time...including her ears and toes, and she even gets her butt crack really good

Matthew:
- Weighs 22lb 13.6oz
-  LOVES playing "Ring Around the Rosie".  It's so cute.  He likes it when Kayla plays too, but is just as content with just me.  If he wants to play then he'll grab both my hands and pull me to an open area.  He thinks it's funny when he doesn't fall down at the end...and so I gently tackle him down and tickle him.
-  If you pretend to be sleeping he'll hit you on the chest to wake up.
-  If you are carrying Matthew when he gets super excited about something he'll jump up and down in your arms and will thump your chest and back with his hands.
-  I started re-positioning him in his crib when I check on him at night to make sure that he is not laying on his flatter side.  It's definitely not that noticeable anymore, but every little bit helps!
-  Always makes sure the phone is in the charger.  At our house, he can't reach any of the charges so he'll stand there holding the phone, pointing and saying "ah ah ah".  If it's at my parents, he gets to pick up the phone and bring it to my mom when it's ringing, and then practically rips it out of her hands when she's done so that he can put it away.  Sometimes Kayla 'helps' him.
-  Likes to have every single lamp on in the living room.  We don't have any 'built-in' lighting, so we have 6 different lamps that can be turned on.  He'll point to each one and say "dis" and then when that one is on he'll point to the next and say "dis".
-  Enjoys playing with Barbies and vintage Polly Pockets.  He LOVES the Barbie strollers, and pushes them around like their vehicles.
-  Still would prefer to be barefoot than to have socks on.
-  Matthew will bring you the remote control and will point to the tv if he wants it on.  He'll watch it for a minute, and then will play toys again.
-  Still LOVES fruit.  Any kind!  Between the two of them, they eat at two least mandarin oranges and a cup of frozen blueberries a day, in addition to whatever other fruit I have.
-  Likes to wash his own body at some point during bath time.

No Nap = Tired Babies

After playing around in their cribs for a solid hour and fifteen minutes yesterday (throwing toys out, making spitting noises, jumping, laughing, crying), I took Matthew and Kayla out of bed.  I had finished everything I was hoping to accomplish (i.e. facebook swap group/hotmail/blog stalking), and so I figured they could just skip their nap and go to bed a little earlier.

I had just finished making dinner yesterday (carrot stumput) when Matthew brought me a book to read.  We sat on the rocking chair and Kayla joined us.  It was a Curious George 'Music Play' book...one where they give you instructions to concentrate reading it to your kids in a real melodic way.  Anyways, it's really short, so I read it twice to them....and then I noticed Matthew's eyes starting to droop.  Knowing that a five minute cat-nap would keep him happy for the rest of the evening, I kept reading and rocking, reading and rocking...and then he fell asleep.  Two minutes later, Kayla had fallen asleep as well.  When Jon came home at 5 I told him to quickly take a picture and then quietly grab dinner while I let them sleep for 10 minutes longer.  He grabbed his dinner and went to the living room to eat.  Little did I know, I fell asleep to.  When I woke up at 5:30 I quickly woke them up.  I wanted to give them a little rest...not a whole nap!  They were BEARS for the next hour...crying and crying and crying.  They didn't stop crying until I convinced them to take a bit of their dinner and I would give them a piece of sausage.  So that's how they ate...bite of dinner, bit of sausage....and they ate SO MUCH.  I swear they ate more than what I had eaten.  I was impressed.  At the rate Kayla's going she's going to be getting chubby!

Eight Days Down...

....six more to go.

I asked Jon the other night if he ever thought about the possibility of me being pregnant.  His response was, "More often than you think".  So I asked, "Every five minutes, like me?"  And he nearly died.  It's true, though!  Not a moment goes by where I don't "feel" something and think "hmm...is that a pregnancy sign, or just a side-effect of the progesterone I'm on (because the side effects of progesterone are very similar to early pregnancy signs).  And I'll never know, I guess, but this two week wait is killing me!

I don't even think of all of this as a possible pregnancy...I refer to the procedure as "it".  Let me explain that a bit better.  I ask myself, "Do I feel like 'it' was a success" as opposed to "Is there a baby growing inside of me right now?"  I think it helps me detach the emotional side of everything from the scientific side, so that I don't get too emotionally invested in something that only has a 40% chance of being successful.  40% is not very high.

When I get bored in the evenings (which should be never, because I have a lot of projects on the go right now...nothing fun...just my photo/blog album and some spending analysis spreadsheets to bring up to date), I google for forums/blogs where others who have gone through the same IVF or FET procedure share their day-to-day experiences/feelings and what their outcomes have been.  My favourite is terobertson.blogspot.com (referred to me by Pauline when we started IVF 2.5 years ago).  She's younger than me, already has two kids (one by IVF, and the other by FET), and shares a lot of the same feelings as I do.  It's nice knowing that there are people out there that "get" it.  You may think you do, but going through it is a completely different thing.

Anyways, there's my little vent session to clear my head.  I've been having trouble falling asleep at night because my head is just swirling with thoughts, so maybe this will have helped.  Falling asleep around midnight and then waking up at 5:20am to go to work is not fun.

Two days down...

...12 more to go.

Sigh.  Why is it that when you want time to go really fast it slows down?  Time is going SO SLOW.

Tuesday I spent most of the day on the couch.

Wednesday I spent most of the day on the couch (working, watching TLC, watching a movie, blog stalking etc.) while my mom watched Matthew and Kayla like she usually does on Wednesdays.

Today I spent most of the day taking it easy.  We stayed home and just played toys all day.

Tomorrow I'm getting out of the house and going to Noah's Ark, like normal.  Yay!  After that, I'll probably take it easy still.

I'm trying to do what the nurse told me last time, with Matthew and Kayla, to "not do anything I would regret" if this doesn't work out.

Matthew is definitely missing me carrying him around...he was holding on to my hands asking me to pick him up to carrying him to and from my parents', but I couldn't.  Oh well, it's only a small blip in their lives.

Jon has been really great...he's really stepped it up and takes care of whatever I need him to.  And my mom too...she's babysits me (I mean, the kids) when Jon's not around :).

What Happens After an Embryo Transfer?

Thought everyone might find this interesting :)

3-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The embryo continues to grow and develop, turning from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula
Two	The cells of the morula continue to divide, developing into a blastocyst
Three	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Four	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Five	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Six	Implantation continues
Seven	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Eight	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Nine	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Ten	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eleven	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

Frozen Embryo Transfer

Today was the (potentially) big day.  I'm glad Matthew and Kayla slept until 7:45am this morning because it shortened our morning.  The entire morning I was paranoid that it was Genesis calling to say that the day 3 embryo did not survive the transfer.  I was so worried that I even waited to have my shower until my mom was here, just in case (when) they called.  Thank goodness, by 10:30am when I had to leave for my 11:30 appointment, I had not received a phone call yet.  Yes!  The embryo survived!  Step 1 - success!

Because Jon couldn't really take a day off work (for risk of administration re-starting his teaching days in this position to '0', and then losing the chance of guaranteeing himself a contract next semester), and because I had been through the entire process before, I went alone.  As much as I hate driving, I'm really comfortable with driving through Vancouver to Genesis.  (So comfortable, that one time I didn't realize I had gone through the Massey tunnel until I was out the other side!).  I drank my water as I drove...less water than last time (because last time I was in so much discomfort during the transfer I couldn't even 'enjoy' it).  I didn't have to wait at all in the waiting room, they practically brought me straight to my pre-procedure room.  I got changed into the required skirt, signed the necessary consent forms, and waited.

I had the same doctor that performed my ultrasound last week.  This transfer experience was so much more enjoyable than Matthew and Kayla's!  The doctor was already there waiting for me, so I didn't have to wait with a full bladder for him to show up.  They've added a tv screen to the procedure room so that I could see the embryo in the petri dish.  Unfortunately, I didn't notice the tv screen until they had already sucked the embryo up into the catheter.  Oh well.  The procedure is painless (to me, at least), and really quick.  After the doctor transferred little embryo #3 (who is a 7-cell grade B embryo...Matthew and Kayla were 8-cell and 9-cell grade B embryos), we watched the tv screen as the lab technicians double checked to make sure that the embryo had actually left their catheter by squirting the remaining contents back into the petri dish.  We got the "okay" and then I was allowed to pee and change and go!

Now, I'm resting and slowing getting back into my regular routine, avoiding anything strenuous, as per doctor's orders.  It's definitely difficult to sit on the couch when Matthew and Kayla want me to be picking them up and playing with them all the time, but I guess that will have to be Jon and my Mom's job for now.  Matthew and Kayla definitely seemed whinier than usual tonight, and I'm sure it's because I couldn't be "me" with them.  Luckily, this is only for a couple days and then I can return to a semi-modified routine.

I've done what I've needed to do - now it's up to God and what He wants to happen!

If I haven't gotten my period by December 4th, then I go to LifeLabs for bloodwork, and the nurses will call me on December 5th with the results.  Scary stuff!

P.S.  When I asked the doctor if this procedure would interfere with a possible existing pregnancy he informed me that the estrace I've been taking actually prevents ovulation,  so there is no way I could have been pregnant (not that I thought I was).

Days 1-19

You know life is busier and the process is less intense when I end up blogging the first 18 days of my cycle all in one entry!  Sorry potential baby #3...it's not that you're less important...it's well, it's just...well, there's no excuse.  So here we go, days 1-18:

Days 1-7 (Oct 26-Nov 1):  2mg Estrace twice a day.  No big deal.  My boss asked me if I felt more hormonal (to which I replied sarcastically, "Do I seem more hormonal?"  We have a great working relationship).  Anyways, no I didn't feel more hormonal at all.

Days 8-18 (Nov 2-12):  2mg Estrace three times a day.  Again, no big deal...It's just a little more difficult to remember to take my pills.  I might have had a couple days where had only taken two, and so the next day I would take four.

Day 19 (Nov 13):  Ultrasound at Genesis!  After fighting morning rush-hour traffic to get to my 8:30am appointment in Vancouver on time, I had to sit in the waiting room for what felt like FOREVER, because they were busy and thus behind schedule.  45 minutes later, I had the ultrasound.  The doctor said my uterine lining is looking great, so we're good to go for a transfer next week.  He said I hadn't ovulated yet (as I had suspected).  Hmm...that means we still have a chance to get pregnant naturally as well.  Not that it would happen...but wouldn't it be crazy if we were pregnant when they (hopefully) transfer one of our embryos in?  It would be like twins...but one is 1.5 years older.  Anyways, won't happen.  I don't think.

I met with the nurse after the ultrasound to discuss the transfer dates.  On Sunday, November 18, I reduce my Estrace to 2mg twice a day, and then I also start Endometrin three times a day.  On Monday, November 19, a nurse will call me to schedule my transfer appointment for the next day (usually around 11am-ish).  In the morning of Tuesday, November 20, the first thing they'll do when they get to the office is take my day 3 embryo out of the freezer (i.e. out of the liquid nitrogen) and will see if it survives being thawed.  If it does, then we go ahead with the transfer and the day 5 will stay frozen.  If it doesn't then they call me to cancel my appointment and then on Thursday, November 22, they take the day 5 out of the freezer and see if it survives being thawed.  If it does, then we go ahead with the transfer.  If it doesn't, then we're out of luck.

How am I doing?  I'm scared.  I'm really scared.  Not scared of the procedures at all, because I've been through it all before, but scared of a negative outcome.  I just want one of the embryos to thaw and to implant.  Hopefully that's not asking too much.  I try not to think about it at all, and try to focus all of my time/attention/energy into Matthew and Kayla, and work (which I'm completely swamped in right now, and have no idea how I'm going to stay on top of it if the transfer happens next week and I can't work from the office).

Little Big Boy

Matthew had his hair cut for the very first time, by Anita DeVries, my Mom's hair dresser.  Matthew did AMAZING!  He sat on my lap and was so still the entire time.  You could tell by the expression on his face that he was just concentrating on the feeling on his head.

He looks so cute now.  A little more grown up.  My little boy is turning into a big boy quickly.  (Nooooo!).

Going into the haircut I was nervous that shorter hair would bring out his funny head shape...but you know what?  It's the complete opposite!  His head looks WAY better!  I think that because his long hair circled the top of his in a clockwise direction it put more hair on his right side, which is his 'bigger' side.  Now that the hair is evenly dispersed on his head the right side doesn't seems to look as 'big'.

Anyways, it was a big day yesterday...and big days mean that Matthew doesn't want to go to bed :)

So, after initially going to bed at 8pm, jumping a bunch, crying a bunch, and crying a bunch more I took him out and let him play in the kitchen while Jon and I worked.  Half an hour later, I put him to bed and he went to sleep....not for too long though!  Around 4am he woke up again and so I got out and sat in the rocking chair with him and rocked.  After about 15 minutes I figured he was asleep, so I got up to put him back in his crib.  No such luck.  He clung to me so hard that I couldn't possibly put him in his bed (because I didn't want to).  I was exhausted, but figured how often do I get to cuddle?  We moved to the the living room so that I could sit in the recliner and maybe fall asleep while cuddling.  No such luck.  After about 15 minutes I figured he was asleep, so I got up to put him back in his crib.  No such luck.  He clung to me so hard that I couldn't possible put him in his bed (because I didn't want to).  I was exhausted, so I decided to put him in our bed.  I climbed in and put him in the middle.  Nope...he did not want that.  He climbed over to me and laid on top of me and passed out.  Definitely was a little more awkward than when he was a newborn, but it was wonderful, nonetheless.

Love that little big boy.  Kinda wish he would stop getting older.

Here we go!

Oh man.  It's been a little bit of a crazy day.

I got my period today, which was bitter-sweet.  It was day 39 for me so I was thinking maybe I was pregnant, although I knew that I probably was just having another one of my long-ish cycles.  It sucks not have a super clockwork cycle.  I had even done a pregnancy test on Monday because I figured if I didn't use it now, hopefully I wouldn't have the opportunity to use it again.  It was negative, but still...you still have the slight hope of being pregnant.  I was hopeful, but still pessimistic.

Anyways, seeing as how getting pregnant naturally failed this past month (not that we were trying...because we weren't...but we also weren't trying not to), I pulled out my instruction sheet for a frozen embryo transfer.  The instructions say "within the first few days of the menstrual cycle prior to your transfer cycle phone Genesis to advise the nurses that you will be starting treatment in your next cycle."  So, I called the nurses and left a message indicating that I would be starting with my next cycle.  A couple hours later, I received a call back from the nurse, who said "so you're starting your transfer cycle this month, right, and you took your Estrace already?"  I replied, "umm...the instructions say to call the month prior, so don't I start next month?"  Her response, "oh, it does!  No one ever calls the month before!  Did you want to start this month?"  UMMM...YES!  So...here we go!  Day 1 of my hopefully successful pregnancy!

We have two embryos frozen: a day 3 (3 days old, so 3 days since fertilization) and a day 5 (5 days old, so 5 days since fertilization.  Of all of our frozen embryos from our in vitro cycle, the best two day 3s were used and gave us Matthew and Kayla.  The third best day 3 was frozen, and the rest were left to grow.  Only one survived to be a day 5.

For this cycle, our plan is to use our day 3 first.  If day 3 doesn't survive being thawed, then we will still be able to try to use day 5 this cycle.  If day 5 doesn't survive being thawed then we've had a complete failure of a cycle.  If day 3 thaws, then we will keep our day 5 frozen still to be used in the future.

This is the timeline/schedcule for my frozen embryo transfer cycle:
October 26-November 1 (Day 1-7):
2mg Estrace (estrogen supplement) taken twice per day (4mg total)

November 2 onwards: (Days 8 onwards):
2mg Estrace taken three times a day (6mg total)

November 13 - 8:30am:
Ultrasound at Genesis to measure my uterine lining

Sometime after November 13:
1 Endometrin tablet 3 times a day (vaginally), 2mg Estrace taken twice per day (4mg total)

November 20 or 21:  Embryo Transfer!

December 6 to 8:  Pregnancy test at Lifelabs


I can't believe that we're starting this month.  This is crazy.  And scary.  And nerve-wracking.  We'll be sending God some extra prayers this month, that's for sure!

P.S.  We're obviously not keeping this a secret to our immediate and extended families, since it wasn't much of a secret that I had the miscarriage a few months ago and so people are expecting us to be trying again.  Also - if you have any questions about it all, you can totally ask!

19 Months Old

Kayla:
-  Has learned that pushing Matthew will move him away.
-  LOVES coffee.  With hazelnut cream in it or without - she doesn't care!
-  LOVES eating corn.
-  Doesn't like to wear socks and shoes.  It's not uncommon to see her running around in bare feet.  She gets frustrated when she's wearing tights.
-  Likes to pull Matthew's socks off.  She knows to stick her finger in between his ankle and his sock to get it started.
-  Had her first hair "cut" (i.e. trimming her whispy hair behind her ears) just before church on Sunday, September 30th.
-  LOVES walking around with her two blankets and her stuffed animal.  If you ask her to put them away she knows that the knit blanket goes on the rocking chair, and her fuzzy blanket and stuffed animal go in her crib.
-  LOVES walking around with my hairbrush, brushing her (or Matthew's) hair.
-  LOVES pulling a toy boat around the house.  I had bought the boats at the end of last  summer so that Matthew and Kayla could use them in Penticton/Cultus this summer, but they didn't really understand what to do.  Since summer has ended they now understand what to do, and can always be seen pulling random toys around the house in their boats.
-  Knows how to go "cheers" with her cup (thanks to Candice)
-  Can touch our door knobs and can pull the door open/closed, but doesn't know how to turn them.
-  Loves jumping on the trampoline
-  Loves playing with mega bloks
-  Loves playing with dolls and barbies.
-  Had her nails painted (by me) for the very first time on October 14th.
-  Words:  Ma (Matthew), Ba (Ball), Buh (Button)

Matthew:
-  His feelings get hurt when Kayla pushes him away or takes his toy.  His cry is so sad!
-  Still keeps his last bite of food in his mouth.  I had given Matthew and Kayla a thin slice of raw red pepper the other day while I was cooking (yes, I was cooking, not Jon!).  They took it and went back to playing on the deck.  A few minutes later I hear crying and saw that Matthew had fallen backwards off of the kids picnic table.  I picked him up, and noticed the front of his tongue looked chewed up.  My first thought was, "Oh shit, he bit the front of his tongue off!"  I quickly brought him inside, and then he started to cough due to his sobbing...and then out flew a chewed up red thing onto the ground.  My first thought was, "Oh shit, his tongue is on my floor!"...but upon closer inspection I noticed that it was just his last bite of red pepper, all chewed up but not swallowed.
-  Knows how to nod his head to say, "yes", but only when prompted to.
-  Did a summersault on his own on October 4th.
-  Loves to give open-mouth kisses.
-  LOVES pulling a toy boat around the house.  I had bought the boats at the end of last  summer so that Matthew and Kayla could use them in Penticton/Cultus this summer, but they didn't really understand what to do.  Since summer has ended they now understand what to do, and can always be seen pulling random toys around the house in their boats.
-  Walked down my parents two steps (from the kitchen to the family room) without holding on to anything/anyone on October 12th.
-  LOVES walking around with my hairbrush, brushing his hair.
-  Can touch our door knobs and can pull the door open/closed, but doesn't know how to turn them.
-  Loves jumping on the trampoline
-  Loves playing with mega bloks
-  Will willingly play dolls or barbies with Kayla
-  Will imitate my "fire truck" sound
-  Loves the lawn mower.  As soon as he hears Jon or my Dad on it he whines for a ride.

Our schedule:
7:15am  Wake Up & Breakfast.  I gave them cheerios in milk for breakfast, and they ate so much.  Ever since, they have been even worse at eating their baby cereal.  I think it's time to stop doing baby cereal.

7:45am  Bath time.  I typically wait for Matthew to have done his morning poo before giving them a bath :)

9:45am  Snack - some sort of finger food.

12:00pm  Lunch - between half to a whole slice each and then a fruit of some sort.

12:45pm  Nap Time

3:00pm  Wake Up & Snack Time - typically yogurt or a smoothie

5:30pm  Dinner.  Jon and I have set some new rules about dinner time, after Jon was quite embarrassed over Matthew and Kayla's refusal to eat at my parents and constant whining at the table on October 12th.  Now, they MUST eat all of the food on their plate before they can leave the table.  Matthew's protested this once or twice, but quickly realized that once we finished all his dinner then he could play.  Kayla, on the other hand, likes to protest it at every meal.  Eventually, she ends up eating it all...even if it's an hour later.  If only one of them has finished by the time we leave for my parents' for a cup of coffee, then only that one child gets to come with me, and the other stays behind until they've finished.  I'm hoping they'll become great eaters out of this (and by great I don't mean that they have to eat a lot...they just have to eat it all)...and maybe they'll put on a few extra pounds?  :)

6:30pm  To my parents' for a cup of coffee

7:45pm  Bottles, Teeth Brushing, and Books

8:00pm  Bed-time.

Update on Us

I realized that my posts lately have been so focused on Matthew and Kayla that I should probably do a general update on Jon and I!

Jon started out the school year TOC-ing every day (yes, teachers do call in sick on the first day of school!) and is now in a what-we-think-will-be-permanent teaching position at North Surrey Secondary School.  Administration was not happy with the previous teacher and so they are trying to "get rid of her".  Meanwhile, Jon's taken over her entire teaching load - two Science 9 classes and two Math 9 classes.  We're hoping that he can be in that position long enough to guarantee himself a contact/full-time employment for the coming semesters!  He loves having his own class, but is now super-busy with planning and marking.  The one thing nice about TOC-ing is that you only work from 8:30 - 3:30.  Now he teaches from 8:05 - 2:10, stays at school until 4:45, comes home and eats dinner, and then does more school work until 9:30pm. I've even helped him with marking when I have time.

Nothing is new with me.  :)  I had my appointment at Genesis for a hysteroscopy on September 28th, and that went well so we have the 'go-ahead' to proceed with a frozen embryo transfer.  I love how they allow you to watch the computer screen as they look at your uterus with the micro-camera.  The doctor could still see where the placenta of my miscarried baby was attached to my uterus, and so she poked at it a bit to help speed up the process of it flaking off.  She said it was completely normal and was nothing of concern.  So what does this mean?  Well, on the first day of my October period I call in to Genesis to tell them that I am going to start with the frozen embryo transfer with my next cycle.  They ask for a month's warning so that they can double-check my file/records to make sure that all of the necessary testing has been done.  So, we could start as early as November...which would give us a due date in August.  Jon thinks he wants us to wait a month so that he would have a September due date, but I'm not sure I want to wait.  We'll see.  I'm sure I'll win :)  haha.

Anyways, that's what is new with us.  We are busy, busy, busy!

The pictures say it all...

...September has been a TON of fun (so far!)

Matthew was sick for a day with a fever(we knew because he didn't want to eat a candy!).  I LOVED the cuddle!

I pulled out the basket of baby toys and they were SO interested in them!  

Kayla's "Lord Voldemort" (from Harry Potter) expression/smile.

Drinking coffee.

One of Kayla's new favourite pastimes.

Matthew's new favourite pastime...playing keep away from Kayla!

Eating freshly picked tomatoes.

We went for a walk at Tynehead with some Struik family, and then enjoyed a gourmet dinner cooked by Jon's mom.

No, this is not Rachel and Katelyn...both are Katelyn (I think, right Leanne?  To be honest, I only know because I had to remember that Rachel was wearing a pink dress.  I'm the worst aunt ever!  So glad Remy and Carly are fraternal...the identical thing kills me!)